You don’t have to be a dad to enjoy our latest bumper crop of 32 wonderful “dad jokes.”
DavidHarris. Updated April 6, 2023
On twitter, The dad joke man does a wonderful job of sharing the best incisive jokes with its followers.
We’ve seen some of these before, but there are many that are new to us and they’re all guaranteed to raise a smile. Or at least a groan.
So, without further ado…
1.
My friend Iain has one eye bigger than the other…
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 21, 2023
2.
An anteater walks into a bar and the landlord asks, “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
“How about something to eat?”
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
The landlord asks: “What’s the point of that long no!”
“I was born with it!”#Tuesday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 21, 2023
3.
My friend lost his ear in an accident and had to have a pig ear transplant.
I asked him if it was ok…
He said, “It’s fine, apart from a little crackle…”#Saturday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 18, 2023
4.
A busload of jazz musicians just overturned on the M25…
Expect long traffic jams.#Thursday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 16, 2023
5.
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 15, 2023
6.
BREAKING NEWS!
Police have discovered a man’s body in a box of chickpeas…They treat it as hummusid.#Tuesday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 14, 2023
7.
I was arrested for stealing an entire set of encyclopedias…
I said to the police: “Wait a minute, I can explain everything…”#Thursday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) March 9, 2023
8th.
I have a job right now making plastic Draculas.
There are only two of us on the assembly line…
So I have to do every second count.#Wednesday mornings
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 22, 2023
9.
Picture of the Beatles before they really got big. pic.twitter.com/aHv0cQyfQ9
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 18, 2023
10
Just been diagnosed with the dreaded ‘peek-a-boo virus’…
I’m being transferred to the intensive care unit.#Friday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 17, 2023
11.
I got fired from my job at the pasta factory.
I just made a fusilli mistake…#Thursday morning
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 16, 2023
12.
I put a python for sale in the newspaper, a guy called and said, “What size is it?”
I replied: “It’s quite big”
“How many meters?” he asked
“None, it’s a snake…”#Wednesday mornings
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 15, 2023
13.
To start a zoo you need at least two pandas, one grizzly and three polar bears.
That’s the bear minimum.#ukpunday
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 13, 2023
14
BREAKING NEWS!
Researchers have discovered what is believed to be the largest bed sheet in the world.More on this story as it unfolds…
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 11, 2023
15
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
That’s because of all the inner fins…
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 9, 2023
16
I just successfully bred a cross between a crocodile and a carrier pigeon.
I bet this will come back to bite me…#Wednesday mornings
— The Dad JokeMan (@DadJokeMan) February 8, 2023
https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2023/04/06/you-dont-need-to-be-a-dad-to-enjoy-our-latest-bumper-crop-of-32-wonderful-dad-jokes/ You don’t have to be a dad to enjoy our latest bumper crop of 32 wonderful “dad jokes.”
