Week by Humza Yousaf: “Nicola would like to support me. Honest’

Did you enjoy Channel 4’s leadership debate?

Look, Kate Forbes’ position on the smack may be in question, a newspaper claims this week, but my critics are wrong in saying she’s misleading me.

Yes, we may be nervous about the party’s support for a new FM, and it may beat me on public votes.

But I will not demean myself by speaking of meaningful statistics. I didn’t do it when I was Justice Secretary, I’m doing my best to avoid it as Health Secretary, so I won’t start now.

In fact, if there’s anything to bang on the Yousaf rump, it’ll come from the Chief Bumskelper, who is Nicola.

CONTINUE READING: “My money is on Gary Tank Commander to succeed Nicola”

Okay, there are a few who say, ‘Why doesn’t Nicola openly support you? Does she think you’re little more than a useful toadyeater?’

But of course she can’t.

In fact, she whispered to me the other day: “Humza, I’m not going to come out and explain that you’re right and able to follow in my footsteps as I have to remain impartial – also taking into account that this could come back haunting me.” ‘

And for this unassailable piece of diplomacy, I love, adore, and applaud her.

But anyway, let’s get back to the debate. I thought I did great. Kate Forbes may have made a persuasive plea for putting the economy first, but I handled that brilliantly, in the low, gentle voice of a hired assassin, by suggesting that her religious beliefs might well take Scotland back to the Middle Ages, for a long time ahead of us were a country that could actually take back its bottles of ginger.

That wasn’t a mediocre answer, was it?

As for Braveheart Ash? She’s burned out.

CONTINUE READING: “A shared SNP? I couldn’t be happier’: Anas Sarwars week

When Ash Regan spoke of her “independence thermometer,” I had to resist the urge to ask in which part of the body politic it should be placed. And is the public strategy sick with a fever right now – or just a sore throat?

And I loved Krishnan’s question ‘Gary Lineker – red card – or behind the net? Ash gave Gary Lineker a red card despite not even reading his tweets. That’s like saying I can fix the Scottish economy even though I only have a vague understanding of how business works.

But where I really won was not breaking other people’s records because it’s not nice for the party in the first place.

And first of all, on a bad day, Mystic Meg could have predicted that I wouldn’t come out of it very well.

A guy on the street yelled at me yesterday; “If Gary Lineker ran for FM he would get more votes than any of you and the Scots don’t like him.”

But I know full well that Gary isn’t standing, right?

I’m up against a woman whose picture is pinned to Mhairi Black’s dartboard and another who’s flakier than the Inverness sky at the moment.

Next coughs, please.

https://www.heraldscotland.com/politics/viewpoint/23378446.humza-yousafs-week-nicola-love-endorse-honest/?ref=rss Week by Humza Yousaf: “Nicola would like to support me. Honest’

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