Reviews of the new conservative dating app are really sad

Fox News darling Ryann McEnany first cooped up her Conservatives to try out the invitation-only, no-pronoun dating app The Right Stuff, Jezebel’s Emily Leibert wrote that she would “die alone” before she ever opened it. Conservative women must have felt the same way, because not many of them seem to have opened up either.

After a month on the market that first wave of reviews– ranging from sad to hilarious to downright insane – features conservative men (one of whom has only been a widower for two days!!!) realizing the echo chamber dating app is actually pretty…empty. With barely a single user in sight, these MAGA brothers wallow in pity in their gun-loving, supposedly godly loneliness. And for those who paid for the premium subscription — a privilege that’s free for the (nonexistent) ladies who join the app — there’s a few bucks in there too. So much for an investment for life.

As a gizmodo reports, out of nearly 200 reviews in Apple’s App Store, about 60 users gave the app a one-star rating. Their complaints seem to revolve around the same few issues: (1) that there don’t seem to be any ladies in sight (“I don’t know, maybe this app is bugged?”); (2) that the FBI showed up at their homes for answering questions about January 6 (“they got a call saying I was involved in domestic terrorism???”); and (3) that users are not really conservative enough, Goddamn!! (“There are conservatives out there who aren’t Christian. I hate this app”).

While some of these reviews (which may or may not be written by bots) deserve a pity, and others might get a vaguely sympathetic “aww” from me on a good day, my honest inclination for asking these truck drivers is flag-carrying Men: My husband, my brother in Christ, what is the matter with you think would happen? When you cheer men calling women too ugly to get pregnant and idolize those who are downright baffled by the concept of an a wet pussydid you really expect women to flock to you like you were jesus christ himself?

While I have no evidence to support this, it would not be beyond the reach of reality to believe that maybe only maybein a postroe America, right wing women are realizing that promoting right wing politics really has real life implications. It happened to Pro-Life Republican. Even dads — yes, America’s dads — are went left in droves, following in the footsteps of white suburban women. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. Maybe they just haven’t gotten an invitation yet.

Whatever the case, it seems these confused men are in for a treat a lonely cuff/divorce season.