I’m a therapist – from porn addiction to parenting, here are the most common issues I see by age group

THERAPY is slowly losing the stigma it once had – that it was only for the weak or the mentally ill.

According to a 2023 survey of 5,000 adults by the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy (BACP), a third of people in the UK have sought help from a therapist.

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Anxiety, stress and depression are the most common issues that drive Britons to see a therapist.

But there is a misconception that therapy is only suitable for people with mental health problems.

Anyone can benefit from breaking things up with someone they feel safe with without fear of judgement.

Natasha pagea BACP-accredited counselor/psychotherapist based in Nottingham, said: “Having space to talk about how you really feel can be one of the most powerful things in moving a client forward.

“We are all human and at some point we will struggle with issues that affect people of all ages. There should be no shame in seeking support.”

Therapists from BACP – a directory of qualified therapists – reveal the most common problems people talk about by age group.

Children

Natascha, founder of My little therapy boxsaid childhood issues are pretty broad, but the biggest issue is low self-esteem, especially among girls.

“It can lead to eating disorders, bad mood issues, depression and self-harm,” she said.

Children can verbally tell their parents how they feel. But if not, Natasha said that one should pay attention to changes in a child’s mood.

“Often a child becomes more withdrawn, more tearful, or shows more anger,” she said.

“The earlier the intervention occurs, the greater the likelihood of better mental health outcomes in general, especially for children.”

20s

Relationships are the biggest themes Natasha sees in her 20s, for example:

“People who may have been in a relationship from a young age and are now realizing as they get older that the relationship isn’t for them.”

She added: “Porn addiction was a common theme again this year.

“It’s more common in men than women, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

“What I’ve found is that people don’t come into therapy with it on referral, but it will play a role in their lives.”

Another important issue that arises is “body image and self-acceptance issues.”

Natasha said: “The use of cognitive behavioral strategies can be very helpful. It helps the client to recognize their negative thought patterns.

“Also, considering when these issues started showing up, for example, was it prior childhood experiences?”

30’s and 40’s

Natasha said: “A lot of issues in these age groups are the same – certainly family life, child rearing and parenting.

“People may intentionally want to parent differently than they were raised, feel under a lot of pressure, or don’t feel good enough as a parent.

“It may adapt to the new realities of parenting or the burden and stress of having a child with disabilities or additional needs.”

Natasha said people tend to come to therapy as parents when “the stress has become too great and can be affecting their mental health.”

“Of course you can talk to family and friends. But often they give their opinions and you might not feel like you can say exactly how you feel,” she said.

Work-related problems are also common in the 30s and 40s, such as B. the feeling of not being fulfilled anymore.

Natasha said: “It can be difficult to change jobs when you have a mortgage, kids or other commitments and that’s how some people get stuck.

“A therapist will not tell their clients what to do, but they will help them think about problems and come to their own solutions, such as challenging some of their negative beliefs that they may have built up, like like that they can’t leave the nine to five and start their own business.”

50s

From this age, Natasha said, the key themes of therapy revolve around aging, which can be triggered by caring for elderly parents.

“It can involve coping with changing looks, how you’re perceived, and how you see yourself,” she said.

“I certainly work with a lot of women in their 50s on menopause.

“It can have a massive impact on their emotional health and cause anxiety and depression that they may not have experienced elsewhere.”

Indira Chima walking The counseling roomsaid: “This age has the highest divorce rate.

“There are fewer distractions; Children are older and therefore no longer a buffer.

“There is a lack of connection in the relationship and they have fewer financial worries.”

60s and older

Indira said those over 60 who are in therapy tend to be disappointed with retirement.

She said: “It’s not what they thought or hoped. They may be bored or have lifestyle conflicts with their partner. Their lives may no longer match up.”

Jennie Cummings Knight, by Golden Leaf Advicesaid: “People tend to become more vulnerable as they age due to declining energies.

“Having a chronic illness can mean going to social events becomes more of a challenge.

“Elderly people often live alone, with few family members nearby. They often have a very real struggle with loneliness.”

Jennie said grief is often a feature of the lives of older people, including beloved pets, which were once a great comfort.

“The death of loved ones, friends and relatives can increase feelings of isolation and cause the elderly person to become overly concerned about their own illness and approach the end of life,” she added.

Adjusting to life in a fast-paced world can be challenging for older people, especially when dealing with memory problems or Alzheimer’s disease, Jennie said.

“The trend of everything being online is challenging for many older people and can leave them feeling useless and powerless.”

Natasha said, “This age group tends to be underrepresented in my therapy room, which is interesting in itself.

“I think they might resort less to therapy. They have more of an attitude of not talking about things.”

If you are considering therapy, check out the BACP Directory of Qualified Therapists.