Horny queen Martha Stewart “melts” for Brad Pitt

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Before Mariah Carey ascends to her (e.g legal reasons, unsanctioned) Throne of Christmas, another member of the holiday royal family is on tour. Martha Stewart, the Duchess of Thanksgiving, does a turkey trot to various late-night and daytime talk shows to promote the holiday from which her powers originate. last night on The Tonight Show, between discussing her dislike of beans and a gold crib she has for sale, Stewart mentioned a “very handsome boy” who makes her “melt.” She’s talking, of course, about 58-year-old Brad Pitt.

Martha Stewart spills on her Kardashian House tour and crush on Brad Pitt | The Tonight Show

The 81-year-old housewife admitted to following Brad Pitt fan accounts on Instagram. “I just melt when I look at these pictures,” Stewart said of Pitt. “He is so cute!”

Though I don’t necessarily approve of Stewart’s choice of crush—there are plenty of men who don’t sued from her ex-wife for abusing her and their kids (Keanu Reeves! Steven Colbert! Lenny Kravitz!) – it’s always inspiring to see a horny octogenarian on vacation. And before anyone jumps on me for age gap hypocrisy, you should know that 1) age gap relationships when both parties are over 26 don’t really bother me 2) I will advocate for 81 year old women to be horny Mainly on everyone Day of the week. I don’t need to explain myself further.

Stewart says the fan account she follows is called “Brad Pitt Fan Club,” although searching her following list using that term returns no results. Of course, Stewart probably has a Finsta. and I can only imagine that their main purpose is to follow Hollywood hunks. Or maybe she curated her algorithmic For You page to simply show her members the gracefully aging heartthrobs of the ’90s. Either way, Martha reuse of Instagram as a hot medium is encouraging.

I also have to point out the moment when Martha mentions inviting people to Thanksgiving dinner who have nowhere else to go that night, calling them “orphans.” It seems as if the audience in Fallon thinks she means actual orphans and gives her a sympathetic round of applause reserved for ribbon-cutting ceremonies. Late night TV, never stop being pointless. I beg.

Anyway, good for Martha that at 81 she’s not only horny but has the energy to get up early and stay up late to talk about it on TV. We should all be so talented.

https://jezebel.com/horny-queen-martha-stewart-melts-for-brad-pitt-1849801671 Horny queen Martha Stewart “melts” for Brad Pitt

Adam Bradshaw

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