Herald Diary: Unusual train of thought on strange train station finds

CURIOUS events at Muirend station. Reader Harvey Johnson, who regularly gets an early train from the station, noticed one morning that a champagne flute and a half-full bottle of sparkling wine had been left on a platform seat.

Days later, a box of Mr. Kipling cakes sat in the same square.

Earlier this week there was an unopened packet of Custard Cream biscuits.

Our reader has a theory: “I believe these are offerings to the almighty gods of public transport in hopes that they will take pity on their loyal followers and keep the trains running on time.”

Harvey adds: “So far it seems to be working. I may even offer a pack of Jaffa cakes myself later this week.”

Confusing at first

A friend of reader Gordon McRae recalled an acquaintance he described as “more than a touch of ‘Billy Oceans’ per se.”

This clue puzzled Gordon until he was instructed to ponder the popular 1980s singer’s initials…

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April Antics

IT was recently reported that an April Fool’s joke went awry after a Royal Mail manager wrote a letter claiming staff had been given a generous pay rise.

Which reminds Bernard Wilkinson of a school gag he and his classmates played on an April the 1st.

The entire class of students strolled into an unfamiliar classroom to be tutored by a teacher with whom they had previously had no dealings.

This guy’s real students went to Bernard’s classroom to be taught by his teacher.

“What was really shocking,” says Bernard, “was that it took more than an hour for one of the teachers to realize that an exchange had been made. I guess if you teach too long, all the students blur into one ghastly unit.”

water interesting question

AN epistemological ichthyological question from reader Beryl Walton asking, “Do fish recognize they are wet?”

darkness visible

A STORY of somber disappointment from reader Chris Armstrong, who says: “I was looking on eBay for something to light my lamp. I got the reply: ‘No matches found’.”