The loving lady who put you on the planet and then spent tens of years making sure your face was clean, your nose blown and there was a fresh sandwich in your lunch box when you arrived at school.
(OK, Dad may have done some of these chores. But Mom did everything with more panache.)
This Mother’s Day, why don’t you forego the hanging bouquet of tulips that you otherwise snag at the last minute at the local gas station.
Instead, give her something that truly celebrates her regal charm and quirky qualities by investing in one of the following highly unusual, if utterly unforgettable, prezzies…
Moms are all about emotions. When you meet that special lady on Mother’s Day, it’s not enough to greet her with a firm handshake or a jovial pat on the shoulder.
No, you must offer a very special greeting card with a personalized poem inside.
Maybe you’re not particularly adept at constructing heartfelt verses. Maybe the best rhyme you composed was on the school toilet wall back then. And that was more of a harsh comment on the education system, with specific reference to the shortcomings of each and every one of your classmates.
To craft the ideal Mother’s Day verse, grab a copy of Scottish author Kate Clanchy’s How To Grow Your Own Poem, in which she teaches you how to build your Byronic muscle.
Then give the book to your mother so that she can write you a poem on Son Daughter Day. (Hey, come to think of it, there’s no such thing as Son & Daughter Day…why not?)
The Illustrated Mother
There was a time when only truckers, sailors and lads who spent a few quiet years in the Big House got tattoos. (And no, that’s not a veiled reference to Frogmore Cottage.)
Nowadays, getting your skin etched is as bourgeois an act as playing croquet on the front lawn. So why not make mom drill a skull and crossbones on her forehead?
OK, that’s a bit extreme. Although there are some beautiful designs that will turn your favorite parents (shhh…don’t tell dad) into a walking, talking work of art.
There are plenty of excellent studios in Scotland, but our favorite is Gold Leaf Tattoo on Bath Street in Glasgow, where the craftsmanship is super slick and unabashedly sassy.
We mentioned truckers a few sentences ago, and there’s never been a better trucker than Elvis Presley, who rolled around in a truck before becoming the world’s favorite hip shake and lip curler.
Well, we’re not suggesting you buy your mother a truck. (“Phew!” you say.) We mentioned Mr. Presley because he rose to fame after spending his hard-earned money to visit a recording studio and wax a heartfelt trill for his dearest mom .
You can also make your own record for your mum at Glasgow Music Studios.
Better yet, drag your mom to the studio and record a duet with her. A sound engineer helps with the tracking, background music and lyrics are provided, and Mom returns home with a shiny CD. Forget Sonny & Cher – make way for Sonny & Mère.
Making fragrances makes sense
In the early years of parenthood, mothers put up with unpleasant odors and unpleasant odors. Changing a diaper carries similar stresses to working as a bomb disposal expert.
Apologize to your mother for the terrors inflicted on her horn by letting her indulge in silky sweet scents instead.
At The Perfume Studio at the Hilton Carlton hotel in Edinburgh, you and your mum can take part in a perfume making workshop.
A perfume stylist helps the mother design her signature scent, and she can order refills when she runs out of perfume.
jumping for joy
Eminent Scottish anthropologists have often theorized that ‘you can’t push your grandma off a bus’.
What you can do, it seems, is throw your mammie out the open door of a plane that happens to be flying thousands of feet above planet Earth.
Though we insist Mother should carry a serviceable parachute mid plumb. (It’s a lot less fun when she’s not.)
For a fun jump, head to the Skydiving Center based in Errol, Perthshire.
Novice skydivers are strapped tightly to a skydiving pro, meaning it’s safe and enjoyable, if just a little daunting.
But, hey, Mum has done scarier things than stumbling through the clouds. After all, she gave birth to you.
Buying a giant box of chocolates for Mother’s Day is a delightful treat until Type 2 Diabetes shows up in a few years.
Sushi is much healthier. Learn to prepare exquisite Japanese seafood dishes at a sushi workshop from the Edinburgh School of Food & Wine, where a top chef gives a lively demonstration using fresh ingredients.
Mom can then show off her skills at a dinner party. Or prepare a sushi packed lunch for your next skydive. (See above.)
Drive, she said
LIFE slows down when you become a parent. Fast nights on the tiles give way to confused evenings on the sofa. Then to bed at 7 p.m. (7:30 a.m. if you’re feeling reckless.)
But that doesn’t have to be the case for motor-mad mothers.
Treat your petrol-loving parents to a formula racing car experience at Knockhill Racing Circuit in Fife, where they’ll be mentored by expert instructors, and then get the chance to burn rubber and tear around the track faster than a cartoon roadrunner , being chased by a ravenous coyote.
It’s almost as adrenaline pumping as pushing a shopping cart with crooked wheels around Asda.
Flight of the imagination
Edinburgh is a beautiful city from every angle, and an aerial view allows you to appreciate the full expanse in all its majesty.
So why not take mom on an exciting helicopter ride? The pilot will point out all local points of interest on this 12-mile excursion for two.
Glaswegians will particularly enjoy this spin on a souped-up spinning machine, as they can enjoy the local scenery without – ugh! – Interaction with the local population below.
Swinging in a lake is wonderfully relaxing, unless you are in the middle of Loch Ness. Then there is a risk that you will be eaten by a hungry monster.
Luckily Loch Lomond doesn’t have any monsters (as far as we know), so it’s the ideal place to enjoy a Ringo ride, where you sit in an inflatable ring and are pulled across the water by a playful speedboat.
Liquid larks of a non-sluggish variety are guaranteed.
Watch the birdie
IN the bad old days of sleazy chauvinism, Mom might have been gifted a boring budgie she felt compelled to name Tweetie Pie, or something equally comforting. Giving her some time with a real boss bird is much more invigorating.
The introductory falconry course at Gleneagles will allow her to interact with a hardcore Harris Falcon… and this feisty fellow is not afraid of chubby cats.
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/23372140.tattoos-sky-diving-10-non-boring-gifts-mothers-day/?ref=rss From tattoos to skydiving: 10 non-boring gifts for Mother’s Day