Drew Barrymore and Jeanette McCurdy Bond on their traumatic childhoods

Less than two minutes into her interview, Drew Barrymore asks guest Jennette McCurdy, whose appearance is believed to be part of her book tour, a very personal question: “Does someone have to die for us to speak our truth? ” Barrymore then immediately followed up with a confession: “I don’t know if I can do this because certain people are alive.”

McCurdy, whose book I’m glad my mother died describes her relationship with her now-deceased, abusive mother, and thoughtfully replies, “If speaking the truth ends the relationship, I think it’s probably a relationship that needed to end.”

hoo boy The conversation, which was published Monday on the digital component of Barrymore’s talk show, Barrymore’s backstage—is anything but your typical press tour, as McCurdy points out as Barrymore jumps up to hug her mid-interview. Both women were child stars and the way that experience broke them seems to bind her immediately. Through By the time she was 15, Barrymore had spent an 18-month stay in a psychiatric hospital, entered rehab, and legally emancipated herself from her mother. In her memoir, McCurdy examines the harassment she faced on set and how she came to realize just how abusive her mother was.

The conversation between the two women explores the difference between guilt and shame (guilt can be worth it, but shame holds you down), the fear of having children and continuing harmful motherhood (Barrymore has two daughters, McCurdy has no children), and how Barrymore’s divorce exposed the traumas of her past. There’s no shortage of heavy silences, open jaws, and knowing nods. At one point, Barrymore explains that she has an “aha moment” at not acknowledging the abuse that was done to her because she wanted to protect her abuser. (Though she doesn’t say so explicitly, she seems to be talking about her mother.)

That’s a lot for a 20-minute daytime TV segment — but it’s not unusual for Barrymore, who has been facilitating conversations like this since she started her show two years ago. Her interviews are refreshingly honest and raw, and watching her, it feels like she’s tackling these issues out of personal necessity. She made similar connections with Paris Hilton in September 2020 and Demi Lovato there April 2021She starts the conversations by assuring her guests that she was in their shoes. And she has! She doesn’t show false compassion just to be a spectator or to get in on things life of her famous Guests. Like Hilton, she was held in solitary as a teenager and wants it talk about it. Like Lovato, she can really dig deep into the special hardships of being famous as a kid. Barrymore is able to make her interviews feel like a therapeutic exchange, to the benefit of both of you and their guests. It keeps me coming back for more.

Towards the end of her conversation with McCurdy, Barrymore asks if she wants children after what she’s been through. Normally this question makes my hair stand on my arms; Normally I want to yell, “It’s none of your damn business!” But in this case, it felt like Barrymore, a self-proclaimed survivor, was reaching out to another survivor and comparing notes. McCurdy replies that she doesn’t believe that – which is Also incredibly refreshing. “I wonder why?” Barrymore jokes and the two erupt in a truly healing cackle.