Colorado Bear knows his angles, takes hundreds of selfies

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photo: City of Boulder, OSMP

The empowering thing about selfies is that they allow the subject to take control of their own perception. So, with tears in my eyes, I am happy to share the news that this way of self-actualization has been adopted by the animal kingdom. A bear in Boulder, Colorado somehow took 400 selfies of itself — something I’ve been guilty of while waiting for my Uber — and they’re the most beautiful and tender snaps I’ve ever seen.

In August Open Space and Mountain Parks (OSMP) furnishings Nine cameras for unobtrusive observation of wildlife in the Boulder area. Their website explains that the cameras activate when wildlife passes in front of them and can capture both still images and video. OSMP quickly noticed this when viewing the collected footage They not only took 400 (out of 580 total) photos of a single bear –they had a star on her hands.

I mean, honestly, a million memes go through my head at a billion miles a second: “Who is she?!”; “Ladies and gentlemen, you.”; “She understood the task”; “She pulled her ass up and worked”, etc.Etc.etc. Also, I should stop and correct myself –I do should not know and should not assume the gender of this perfect creature. All I know is that you are an angel who knows your angles.

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photo: Collection John Springer/ City of Boulder (Getty Images)

The variety of poses they deliver would bring a tear to Miss Jay Alexander’s eyes. We’re getting ‘shy’, we’re getting ‘shy’, profile shot is Barbra Streisand if I’m being honest. It’s nothing but glamour. If this bear weren’t literally hibernating in the Colorado wilderness as I type this, I would take him on the first flight to Los Angeles. I don’t know who they’re playing as Cocaine Bear in the upcoming movie, cocaine bearbut if they haven’t shot the main scenes yet, I’m asking for a rewrite.

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OSMP too sent a few of the gratuitous selfies on her Instagram in November. You know those kind of moody carousels that girls post to let you know they’re still hot and living enviable lives while still trying to remain mysterious? You must take all of Angel Bear’s notes. This picture carousel fascinates the most enigmatic Insta girlies.

I hope these photos bring you the joy they brought me on this gloomy January day. I love you angel bear. Just say a word and I’ll fly you to Milan for Fashion Week in February. Colorado Bear knows his angles, takes hundreds of selfies

Adam Bradshaw

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