Angelina Jolie and Paul Mescal are definitely not dating. Unless…

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Hey, happy new year, 2023 let’s go, etc, etc. Whatever. 2022 ended with the alleged separation and disengagement by Paul Mescal and Phoebe Bridgers – as Bridgers may or may not be dating Bo Burnham. But 2023 has already given us one of the most incredible Revenge Recent Mating Fantasies: Paul Mescal and Angelina Jolie.

Unfortunately, based on that single sane outing, I don’t think they date or meet. The two actors were photographed by a fan at a coffee shop in London. according to on Page Six after 47-year-old Jolie spotted 26-year-old Mescal performing End station longing at the Almeida Theater. Jolie’s 16-year-old daughter, Shiloh, was also there. The grainy photo of the back of Jolie’s head and the side profile of Mescal and Shiloh all look a lot like “famous celebrities hanging around and complimenting other famous celebrities.”

THEN WHAT. Mescal seems very sexy rubbing his upper biceps. This could be nothing. It’s definitely nothing. He was probably itchy. Maybe there was a fly. Jolie and Shiloh are wearing their coats and Mescal is only wearing a t-shirt, so maybe he was cold. But honestly, it looks a bit flirty. It looks a little hot, a shy Irishman is hot and shy. What I’m saying is, I’d pay $1 million to have Mescal stroke his biceps, even if we went our separate ways and never spoke again.

So even if they’re not together right now, I imagine there was a spark. Mescal seems a little down after Bridgers may have broken off her engagement to Burnham, the similarly hot comedian who may have split from his partner of 10 years, filmmaker Lorene Scafaria to date Bridgers. In December, Mescal revealed that he’s in a Tortured Man Club WhatsApp chat with Joe Alywn and Andrew Scott – which is another thing I’d pay a pretty penny to be a part of. (None of these famous people have released any comment or statement regarding their romantic partnerships.)

Despite it. Mescal looks sad. Bridgers appears to have moved on. And I can’t think of a better rebound for Mescal than Jolie – who could use a hot rebound after her too Wannabe beauty influencer Ex-husband spotted with his new girlfriend in cabo On New Year’s Eve. The estranged were declared “officially single” in 2019, but their divorce is reportedly yet to be finalized as they are still fighting over their joint winery, Chateau Miraval. (A fight that will more chaotic and more chaotic.)

So throw away your stupid 2023 bingo card, because I know none of us had a version of Mescal and Jolie drinking coffee together in London. And whether the coffee was professional, platonic, or the seed of a budding, beautiful romance, I’ll be enjoying this shooting-star-of-an-innocent-celebrity-gossip for as long as I can in 2023. Love, in whatever weird and wonderful form, stays alive. Angelina Jolie and Paul Mescal are definitely not dating. Unless…

Adam Bradshaw

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